Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Just when I thought it couldn't get worse....

I opened my email this morning to find this nasty gremlin staring at me in the face:

<----- Not him, This: We have an immediate need for Contract Attorneys for a Hard Copy review. This project is expected to start Thursday October 8th and run for approximately two to three weeks. The schedule will be Monday through Friday 8.30am to 5:00pm. The hourly rate for this project is $23 flat rate. Prior document review experience is required as is the ability to make a three week commitment to this project.

Attention Law School Grads: It's not worth it for you to take this job. Trust me! Please don't take this job. You will somehow be more broke after you take this job than before. Especially because: "By public transport: use the [train] and take a cab from the station to the facility - cab expenses will not be reimbursed."

By taking a job like this, you are driving down the market and when your student loans kick in, you will be unable to pay them. It's best to not take a job like this and forebear your student loans under claims of poverty. At least when (or if) the market really starts to pick up, you wouldn't have cornered yourself into earning dismal salaries in the long term.

So, this is the type of situation where it is best to stay home and eat ramen noodles. At least you won't have to spend money on transportation and lunch. But, hey, at least it's a humane place to work, the recruiter made sure to note: "Dress code can be casual or business casual. Please note this is a clean facility."

Well, thank God that the place is clean. That's the least they can do for a bunch of attorneys earning $23/hour. The whole concept of having to tell attorneys that the place is a "clean facility" makes me chuckle because I imagine that this is exceptional--or it wouldn't have been said. My future is so dismal, I have to laugh sometimes.

I'll leave you with a quote that my wonderful friend Cole sent me by Justice Scalia:

“I mean lawyers, after all, don’t produce anything. They enable other people to produce and to go on with their lives efficiently and in an atmosphere of freedom. That’s important, but it doesn’t put food on the table, and there have to be other people who are doing that. And I worry that we are devoting too many of our very best minds to this enterprise.”

Ha. Thanks Scalia. You were always my favorite.


  1. I like that quote. I think it accurately describes the role of lawyers in society and why we don't need too many. I don't feel as though most people have ever thought about that, much less let it influence their decision on whether to become a lawyer.

    I may actually steal that quote for my blog sometime in the future.

  2. Scalia forgot to include "Realtors" as people who don't produce anything. Yet they make a shitload of money. I know because I was married to one, and he didn't want me doing it. Should have ignored the "Communist Government" I was married to, and did it anyway.

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  4. Oh my God, I'm so drunk. You're both screwed in your professions, Eddie. He's not better off than you... and Nick, feel free. I want people to get the message or lawyers are totally sunk.

  5. Reading a Scalia opinion was the only thing I enjoyed about the required readings.

  6. That was kind of tongue in cheek. He was alright. I hated all of the wo/men in black robes. They thought within the box and I'm not sure what's so intelligent about that. Dicta makes me vomit.



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