Friday, October 23, 2009

Careers Services Scrambling... Reminds me of my Alma Mater

I hope this post doesn't offend anyone.  If you're overly sensitive or PC, you should not read this post.  I am not sensitive, nor am I politically correct, and I cannot censor myself.

I ran across this article and it brought me back to my school, circa 2000.  Basically, some Colorado Law School is looking at an unemployment rate of 65% at graduation.  So, what are they doing?  Are they overhauling the system, not accepting a new 1L class?  Are they setting up loan forgiveness programs?  NOPE... they are "scrambling" to place students in temporary jobs.  Ha.  Is that so they can report 99% of students employed to US News?  If they get all grads on the same temporary project that lasts 1 week, for that week, they can say that all grads are employed. Hilarious....

Well, this is not really the point of my post, but a side note.  Back when things were good...  Oh yah... they haven't been good for lawyers since the bubble exploded--which is when I graduated.  But I digress.  In my class, there was a guy who I could not stand.  Although I'm friends with many gay men, I could not stand this one.  He was queeny and catty and annoying.  Imagine Christian Siriano, but a lawyer and not particularly nice.  He would regularly spread rumors that every straight/married/attached guy in our school made a pass at him when they were alone.  I just found his efforts to convert people, or claims that he did, a little obnoxious.  He wasn't even cute... a little pale, frail and skinny boy. If I were a straight man-- I would not turn for him.   Let's call him Lee.  

He was also a trust fund baby (one of the few people in my class that paid for his tuition in full) and VERY southern.  As such, when he graduated with very good grades, he insisted that he wanted to stay in the south.  In an ideal and non-bigot world, besides his obvious personality issues, he should have been a shoe-in with excellent grades and a commitment to staying in the area.  But Lee was inexplicably rejected by firms although he was the most qualified candidate.  In his own little trust fund world, he failed to see the merits of toning it down a  little bit for the sake of the stuffy old white guy in the suit.  And I admit that it's a sad state of affairs that "toning it down" is necessary.  But even straight people have to do it some extent.  As you may recall:
1.  If you are married and female, don't wear a wedding ring.  Employers will think you'll get knocked up soon.
2.  If you are not married and male, wear a wedding ring.  Employers like to think that you are shackled down with responsibility and a family. It makes you a harder worker.
3.  If you have curly hair, straighten it and tie it back.  I don't even know why this is. I guess old white stuff lawyers are scared by curly hair.

and so on...

So, Lee failed to tone it down a bit to land a job and he would prance into interviews in his queen-like way and not get the job offer.  

So graduation came around and Lee was still unemployed.  Well, my Alma Mater freaked out because they couldn't have one of their star students, who was from a rich and well known family, remain unemployed. 

So what did they do?

They scrambled.  The created a professor position at the school and gave him an offer.  And he happily accepted. I guess he thought he was just that good.  Maybe the dean was secretly lusting after him as well.  

Unfortunately, this is not a singular incident--isolated to my school.  It has happened at other schools subsequently.  There is just so much pressure to lie for the U.S. News & World Report.

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