So, as the weeks progressed, I noticed something odd about the way she looked at accomplishment in school. If she were called on in class, and she got the right answer, she was ecstatic. I, on the other hand, quickly realized that class participation didn't matter and I expended little to no energy in getting the right answer. I certainly didn't yell out, "Rah, rah, rah," if I managed to go through class not getting called on or I hit the nail on the head with the perfect answer. I kept my eye on the ball and focused on studying. Ana, on the other hand, hardly ever studied. I told her she should, but she said that the real studying doesn't start until Halloween. Since that is a rumor that is tossed around law school, I didn't think much of it.
Then Halloween came around and Ana lost it. She locked herself in her room for days at a time with gallons of water and hit the books. DAYS, as in missing days of class to study.
Sure enough, when exams came around, Ana didn't do so well. I can't say how she did for sure, but I can say she cleared out of her apartment in the late night hours in mid-January and left her roommate with a lease and no roommate.
At the time, my friends and I pitied her. Now, I harbor a bit of jealousy. Why? Because, although I enjoyed practicing the law, I can't do it. And I have 3 years of debt to repay, rather than one. Now, I'm in an saturated market where I can't find a job--and I'm too overqualified to get out of this market. Contrarily, Ana has one semester of debt, and is probably working in something she enjoys. Or, even if she too lost her job, she doesn't have an enormous amount of debt to pay back monthly, while she is waiting for the next big thing.
I lost touch with Ana. She probably didn't want to have contact with anyone or anything that would remind her of her horrible experience. I imagine she is out in Los Angeles in the fashion scene. Or maybe she married her long time boyfriend who she had left back home to go to law school.
So, when I read the third comment on my last post. It reminded me of Ana. The comment that came from a guy named fanofskolnick was sad, but really embodied what many law school "dropouts" (for lack of a better word) feel. It's a different world, where naturally intelligent people are scorned for what they have always prided themselves in--whether that creativity or writing skills. It's a place where you can wildly successful outside the classroom and be ridiculed inside the classroom. If you find, at the end of the first semester or year, that you're not doing well and don't know why or that it's not for you--it doesn't mean you're a failure or a quitter. It means that you're wise enough to cut your losses and move onto something better. You may owe $20K after one semester, or even more. But at least you won't find yourself in the same place after 3 years and $120K of debt. It's really not you! It is just one of those irrational places. Law school is certainly not for everyone.