LawCrossing Uses Reverse Psychology in Stupid Email

I apologize to the law graduate who forwarded an email from legal recruiting site Law Crossing to me last week for not posting this sooner. My initial reaction when reading the beginning of the Law Crossing email was WTF? before setting it aside until today to make some sense of it. If I had received this email directly from Law Crossing, I would’ve trashed it immediately without reading it because it’s that stupid and nonsensical. Note to boring and humorless attorneys: Do not use reverse psychology in an entire email. You’re not funny and you won’t get your point across, especially when it concerns a moneymaking scheme to swindle unemployed law graduates.

The person who sent me the email is a paid subscriber of this new LawCrossing service through BCG Attorney Search, which places “new lawyers” with firms, I suppose? Our source must have been equally confused with a WTF cloud hovering above his head because these were his thoughts on the email:

What the hell is this? The vultures now descend with riddles?

I would happily give these guys a good percentage of my first year salary and bonus if they could find me a paying job. I see no reason why they should be paid a subscription up-front. The fact that they operate like my gym ($15 every month whether it does you any good or not.) makes it all the clearer that there are no jobs. And another thing: I have no doubt that I'm the target demographic here. I mean, BCG kicked me over to their "new lawyer" department, LawCrossing, because I am, in fact, a recent graduate. But, thing is, I'm not exactly in a playful mood, and the reverse psychology here falls pretty flat. How's this, Harrison Barnes, Esq.: DO NOT go fuck yourself.

So they are charging lawyers money every month even if they don't find them a job? Nice. I'm sure they will find enough new graduates to con out of hundreds if not thousands of dollars over the next several years without ever finding them law firm employment.

I won’t link directly to the email on the BCG site because it would reveal our source’s email address, so here it is below.

I have a problem listening to people.

So, I am not the first crusader in the war against students making the retard decision to go to law school. I would be lying if I told you I was never warned. I too was warned by miserable practicing attorneys and failed to heed the warning. Now, I am stuck with debt and grim prospects in a deadend industry.

It was a beautiful winter day in 1998. It was a day where I could have turned my whole life course around. But I didn't listen. This is what happened...

I grew up in an educated, professional suburbs of a big city. My wonderful parents, although uneducated themselves, saw value in raising me "in the right neighborhood." So, at the risk of being house poor, they moved into a county with amazing schools and great neighbors and little to no crime. In my neighborhood, although my parents were not educated, it was not an option to skip college. So, I was nearing graduation and as an overachiever with nearly a 4.0 in college, graduate school was on my radar. If you have been reading my blog, you know that I decided to become a lawyer when I was 16. But I had nothing invested. I was just a stubborn asshole.

I used to work in my mother's nail salon from time to time. And it was a Saturday and I was helping out at the salon. Two of her long time customers were there at the same time--one was leaving and one was coming. Maggie and Alana were both attorneys in their 40s. Both had very young babies and were highly successful. Prior to that day, I looked at both women as examples of what I wanted to become. I was going to law school to be just like Maggie and Alana.

I will never forget what happened next.

I told them that I got into the first tier school of my choice and I it looked like I was on my way. Both women began to plead with me, simultaneously, to reconsider going. Alana was saying that she missed her daughter's first steps and first words because a nanny raiser her daughter. Her daughter even took to calling the nanny mommy and Alana, mama. She started crying. Maggie told me that she had been so focused on being an attorney that she had no time to settle down and have a family. So, her only son was a result of IVF. BOTH women told me they were still paying off their loans and that they were bogged down by these payments. Although both women had pretty prestigious government positons, those jobs didn't pay well. It was as if they were mourning the loss of their lives and the future loss of mine.

I was so fucking smart too. I said to myself, just all future law students say, it will be different for me. I am smarter and better than they are. What do they know? I did so well in college, I'll have no trouble getting exactly the type of job that I want. What a crock of shit. I wish I listened.