Thursday, December 31, 2009

Happy New Year!

I'm so happy to kick the Zilches out and welcome the double digits.  The future looks so bright.  Well, in comparison to the Zilches... it can't look that dark.  I will always remember the Zilches for law school graduation, the summer from Hell (the bar exam), the bubble bursting, 9/11, WAR, WAR, WAR, Lehman Bros. going poof, the Stock Market tanking, my 401K halving, the Great Recession, half of the country taking Sarah Palin seriously and being laid off from my dream job.  The only light that came out of the decade was all my neices and nephews (friends' children) and finding love after many failed attempts that I will also attribute to the Zilches. 

All and all, a pretty horrid decade.  But things have to get better..... Right??? Right???

I say this cause I'm trying to be a little cheery.  But I really would be lying if I said I believed what I'm telling you. I think my future (and the future of my many peers) is a big question mark. It always is, I suppose. I imagine a "?" followed by a red "!"--as in "beware" or "turn back."  The optimism that many Americans are known for is kind of lost on us.  I think that the legal world of the future will look vastly different from that of yesteryear.    Whether that means that document review will disappear to India, or it will become the new standard job for lawyers, traditional areas of the law will be performed by nonlawyers or, or that Big  Law won't pay so much--I have no clue. 

We are floating in ocean of flux and I'm very interested in what our world will look like in 2020. 
I'll leave this year off with a throw back to my favorite decade hence far--the 90s.  

Please be safe tonight.  Don't drink and drive or the Bar will take your law license away.


  1. I actually got through three years of law school and the lies, without one drink. Anyway, I hope you have a good new year. Here's to exposing the bastards!!

  2. Nando,

    Would you like cheese with that whine?

  3. Nando,

    You don't drink? No wonder you hate the profession. Every good attorney knows you can't make it sober, at least not for long.

    Also, how did you network in school without drinking? Nobody trusts a grown man who doesn't drink. People think you are either; 1) A recovering alcoholic, 2) A religious nut job, or 3) A douchey control freak.

  4. I don't need to alter reality with booze. It doesn't take away your problems, and it doesn't improve your life. BECAUSE I AM A GROWN MAN, I DON'T NEED TO DRINK. Got that?! You would probably jump off a bridge too, if all of your peers did so. Congratulations on following the crowd!

    Plus, I don't want to give any of my money to big-ass corporations like Anheuser-Busch or Coors. I am sorry that you cannot handle adulthood, without the need to wash away your problems.

    Also, hanging out - and having a few drinks -with small law and solo practitioners at a law school mixer will not likely lead to a paying job. REAL NETWORKING means talking to people you have meaningful or long-standing relationships with about job opportunities (or where to find a good dentist, a half-way honest mechanic, or some other service/product).

  5. Nothing wrong with drinking...Jesus did it, and so do I.


  6. Oh, and Nando, you seem kind of wired up, based on your response there. If you won't have a drink, perhaps a toke or some psychotherapy may help?'s a whole new year!


  7. And the winner is....douchey control freak!!!

    I'll be thinking about what an immature lemming I am for going to the bar after a long day of putting monsters that hurt children in prison. What do you do again sport, I forget? Big boy rules buddy, Big boy rules.

    You know what else Jesus did? Hang with whores. Drinking and whores, it's right there in the Bible.

  8. i don't think it is going to be a happy new year for attorneys.

    check out this craigslist ad -- for a doctor with a stanford law degree.

    note that he has to rag on a ttt law school to make his point that he is more credentialed.

  9. @ 7:38, you are so immature. "Douchey" is a word used by douchebags. Seriously, say the word out loud to yourself. DOesn't it sound effeminate (sp?). Real men don't add a 'y' on the end. And WHo cares if the guy doesn't consume alcohol? although he could probably use some. Take your "Big Boy (Little Dick) Rules and cram them in your mother's ass and then stick it in her mouth. That's how you were conceived.

    You probably are a prosecutor, too. These are the most asinine, full-of-shit, self-absorbed assholes on the planet. Emotionally stunted. Big egos in cheap suits. The women wear too much makeup and big, flashy, cheap jewelry and long-pointed pumps. The men sport haircuts that came with a bowl of soup and "Trust me" gray suits. Many die at the prospect at taking a case beyond the initial PTC. Or beyond arraignment, really. These people were typically picked last on their sports squads, and only because there was a need for an additional warm body. They never had a real date (renting hookers doesn't count, boy) until post-college. And many are so freakishly unattractive that they have zero shot of gettting laid without imbibing large amounts of alcohol. Those that are married are with equally ugly spouses. And many of the female prosecutors are so bitchy, vile and repugnant, that no man would date them long term. But dont give up hope, 7:38 AM, many guys will still be happy to let you give them head on the first date. (LIke you really give a shit about those kids - youjust want to make a name for yourself, other than for blowing the entire Small Misdemeanor division at the 2005 office XMas party. ;)

  10. Ah, how I miss all those mature frat boys. All those keggers really turned them into some refined gentlemen. Throwing up all that booze in a dorm room bathroom or some alley - that's really a sign of class.

    No wonder lawyers are such beloved members of society.



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