Sunday, November 29, 2009

Last night, while I lay thinking here, some Holyshits crawled inside my ear and pranced and partied all night long....

Holyshit, I'm doing Doc Review.
Holyshit, why does this type of work now require experience.
Holyshit, a sterile cross between an ape and a monkey can do this.
Holyshit, I'm paid hourly.
Holyshit, I'm paid so little hourly.
Holyshit, I am not paid when I spend time visiting my family for Thanksgiving.
Holyshit, taxes are high when you count every last penny.
Holyshit, it's hard to budget when your paycheck varies from week to week.
Holyshit, I don't know how I will bill 70 hours in a week, when I'm limited to 9 a day.
Holyshit, I'm afraid my throat is itchy.
Holyshit, I fear that I may have swine flu.
Holyshit, I am in a cramped room with 20 other attorneys.
Holyshit, I'm elbow to elbow with my neighbor.
Holyshit, I'm going to start an epidemic of swine flu at this law firm.
Holyshit, I am paid hourly so I can't afford to do the honest thing and stay home.
Holyshit, I'm bound to spread swine flu to my neighbors because we are sitting elbow to elbow in a hot room.
Holyshit, one of the guys forgot to wear deodorant.
Holyshit, I don't have room to use my mouse and I may develop carpal tunnel syndrome.
Holyshit, my toe hurts.
Holyshit, I think I have an ingrown toe nail.
Holyshit, I can't afford to take time off to see a podiatrist.
Holyshit, I'm not sure that I am covered by COBRA yet because I just sent in the form.
Holyshit, a co-pay is a lot to worry about when you don't know where your next paycheck is coming from.
Holyshit, this project may end soon.
Holyshit, an infected toe is totally not cool when you're stuck in a crowded conference room.
Holyshit, I can't take this pressure.
Holyshit, I may lose my mind.

But then I look around the crowded room and I see that it's not just me who suffers from the Holyshits. The room is filled with laid off attorneys from big corporations and prominent firms, attorneys who are tired of the associate lifestyles and attorneys who fear that they won't be able to support their children on such shitty pay.
Everything seems well, and then
Holyshits strike again!

[In the style of Shel Silverstein]


  1. Angel - I like your flag counter. Are there any risks to my pc if I install this free software? Did you have any problems - malware/spyware etc.?

  2. Nope. It seems fine. No problems yet. But I've only had it for 2 weeks.

  3. Glad to hear you were able to land a doc review job with acceptable pay. Sorry to hear the conditions are bad, though.

  4. It's actually really good compared to others that I've heard of. :) But not ideal, of course. And it will not last very long.

  5. Hey your fish disappeared again...bring them back if you can. I love feeding them everytime I visit.


  6. Angel, when I look back on the racket known as law school, I think of Edgar Allan Poe's classic "The Businessman." There are no honorable industries or "professions."

  7. I'm thinking I'm going to make another using "The Raven" by EAP.

  8. Angel --

    I really find your blog and your personality to be attractive. Can you please join I'll look for you, and perhaps we can meet.

  9. Hilarious new friend....although my honey ain't no sugar daddy (like yourself), I am very much taken. Thank you for the compliments.

  10. I've been following this blog for a while. I was laid off in September and I've finally broken down and will be starting my first doc review on Monday. Can't wait. I'm happy to read, however, that I'm not the only lawyer who has found herself tossed from a decent attorney job and onto the streets, looking for doc review work.

  11. I dreaded starting doc review.. but it is actually nice to go to a doc review project with Columbia and UVA grads and realize that you are in good company. You're not alone. Everyone is suffering... Actually, every single person on my project was laid off from a really good job. :) It's quite surprising.



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