tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5452025352696285200.post5666518101327857957..comments2024-02-23T04:59:26.907-05:00Comments on But I Did Everything Right!: Being a Lawyer, Stress and Its Physical ManifestationsAngelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07820446523257638689noreply@blogger.comBlogger59125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5452025352696285200.post-12483015466039249962016-05-01T21:43:45.336-04:002016-05-01T21:43:45.336-04:00I was your average nice person, and now I am "...I was your average nice person, and now I am "a fucking mess" ... one minute nice and the next "an irrational asshole shouting and tossing ... work" back to my staff. I don't want to be this way. Everyday, I make a concerted effort to try to be nicer to my staff. I am not making excuses for my behavior but I am also now nervous, stressed, and anxious" from the practice of law ... the courts and clients being completely unreasonable and not getting paid on time or at all. I can barely get through a day without having to shut my door to cry. Given that I am supposed to be some type of bad ass trial attorney, I don't want others to know this. I worked in a law firm prior to law school and I never understood why so many of the attorneys were assholes, but I completely understand now. The stress gets to us, and we pass it on. I am a nice person deep down and it is how I end up treating people each day that causes me to have a lot of guilt. I don't know how to stop because I am such a basket case myself, and if I don't keep working, my staff won't have jobs. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10599241250973382717noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5452025352696285200.post-32366572061760712852016-05-01T21:33:52.966-04:002016-05-01T21:33:52.966-04:00The sadness ... I feel the sadness, too. I have h...The sadness ... I feel the sadness, too. I have had challenges in my life but never before would I have said that I was depressed, but I am depressed, and all of my problems come directly from the stresses of practicing law. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10599241250973382717noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5452025352696285200.post-62993672375693405392016-05-01T21:18:33.247-04:002016-05-01T21:18:33.247-04:00The chest pains ... I have had almost constant che...The chest pains ... I have had almost constant chest pains for the past 5 years, as well as muscle aches, headaches, sobbing, weight gain, etc., etc. Usually, I work remotely through every vacation, but I just took a vacation with my son's school to Europe where I had very limited internet and cell service. I was gone 10 days and, almost miraculously, all of my physical symptoms were gone after 2 days of being disconnected from the office. Upon my return, I could feel my body tightening up as I drove to my office on my first day back, and, now, a week later, I feel worse than before I left. I don't know what to do. I have to keep working because I am not wealthy and I have to pay the bills. We don't live excessively so there really isn't anything I could cut out so that I could stop working. <br /><br />For about a month before I left on vacation, I started having a nightmare where I would wake up every morning and I felt like I had forgotten something on a case. I could see the file but not the name of the file. I had this dream for a month straight, and I drove my staff crazy trying to determine what I was missing. I never figured it out, and I am hoping it was just a product of my anxiety. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10599241250973382717noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5452025352696285200.post-15050445312700560042016-05-01T20:38:11.186-04:002016-05-01T20:38:11.186-04:00Your post could have been written by me. I am so ...Your post could have been written by me. I am so stressed to the point of feeling mentally and emotionally unstable. I have said repeatedly, "I did everything right! How did I end up like this?" I was valedictorian in high school and voted most likely to succeed. I had a 4.0 in college. I scored in the 90th percentile on the LSATs. Graduated from law school with honors and passed the bar the first time (big deal when more than 50% fail). All I ever wanted was to be a lawyer, and, now I feel trapped and would like to wake up at 18 and be able to do this all over and be anything but a lawyer. I am physically ill almost every day but with nothing actually diagnoseable. My kids never see me. My husband never sees me. I have become a royal bitch to my employees, and I don't want to be that way. I have significant cash flow, but my student loans take all the cash that I can't really pay my bills. Clients are demanding, even when I go above and beyond. The courts are unrealistic and almost punitive in scheduling. I literally feel like I am losing it, but I have no other marketable skills. I have gone to counseling, which has proven useless because I don't have any self-destructive behaviors other than working. Sigh ... Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10599241250973382717noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5452025352696285200.post-91880141707423427912016-01-20T08:49:35.835-05:002016-01-20T08:49:35.835-05:00i like two of our suggestions in particular. Refe...i like two of our suggestions in particular. Refer out stresful cases AND don't judge yourself by how much money you make and develop other metrics. New lawyers would do well to pay attention to those two tips.<br />Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18018265940790619723noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5452025352696285200.post-6702228581214743262014-11-07T18:20:56.225-05:002014-11-07T18:20:56.225-05:00Your experience is the same as mine. I really hope...Your experience is the same as mine. I really hope it gets better. Truly. I feel for you.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5452025352696285200.post-77542605219130787112014-08-10T04:10:40.115-04:002014-08-10T04:10:40.115-04:00Five years of BigLaw . Had (and still experience)...Five years of BigLaw . Had (and still experience) depression, anxiety disorder (quite a few panic attacks, although I was very good at hiding them), irritable bowel syndrome (and generally inflammation of various areas of my digestive tract), and high blood pressure. Also, like you, there were times where I would be unable to move my neck in certain directions or to certain degrees, had some pretty bad back pain after a few years' practice, and ultimately developed carpal tunnel.<br /><br />I eventually had to take a medical leave to treat the various health issues that cropped up (including surgery).<br /><br />I am not sure if I can make it back after my body recovers...Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5452025352696285200.post-71430058914533034222014-08-04T13:53:24.163-04:002014-08-04T13:53:24.163-04:00Just found this website. I worked at biglaw for 1...Just found this website. I worked at biglaw for 13 years and made 2x more than my husband. I "resigned" in 2010 and worked at a large firm in 2012 for 8 months. Been unemployed since, but have not had a desire to go back to work.<br /><br />I had the same maladies as most of you. Stress, chest-pains (even rushed to the hospital while on the job in New York), depression, anxiety. The stress and coping mechanisms (meds and alcohol) have had a profound negative effect on my life. I have always had a strong work ethic yet, on most days, do not even feel like taking a shower.<br /><br />My husband is angry and depressed because I have not gone back to work, even though we are wealthy. He is worried we will end up eating "cat food" when we are 80 because I have not returned to the practice of law and, according to him, we have no children or anyone to take care of us. In my opinion, we will be more than able to take care of ourselves/each other. The more angry and depressed he becomes, the more stress I feel.<br /><br />All I want to do is make the world a better place. I am sick of the coping mechanisms but do not know what to do to be happy again. Thoughts?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5452025352696285200.post-58090316982123289462014-05-19T23:04:55.955-04:002014-05-19T23:04:55.955-04:00I am an unemployed lawyer. I was laid off from the...I am an unemployed lawyer. I was laid off from the legal department of an insurance company about 18 months ago. The last 6 months I have tried to open my own solo practice on a shoe string budget. But I have had very little business. Through a referral service that I paid for, I was sent clients but they all seem not to want to pay the attorney fee I offer which is reasonable. I end up doing only consultations for nothing. It is very frustrating. I mean there are a lot of people with legal problems but they don't seem to want to compensate the attorney or they think that attorneys do cases on a contingency basis which can be expensive for a sole practitioner since you have to lay out all the costs. I can't afford to do contingency cases. So I am closing my office after 6 months and thinking of relocating since I have spent 18 months sending 100s of resumes with no success.<br /><br />I do not appreciate one of the previous posters who said that lawyers are scum and deserve to suffer. This is insulting and irresponsible. After all the individuals who go to law school and graduate with a law degree, sacrifice their time away from family and friends in order to study hard and accomplish their legal education. Society should recognize and respect people who study for a professional career. After al lawyers help people. This should be respected. In helping people, lawyers are entitled to make a living like everyone else. Many of us make very little but give a lot of help and make great contributions to society. People that insult lawyers just don't understand what lawyers do and what is involved in the practice of law.<br /><br />I don't want to leave the practice of law because I like it. I have been practicing for 14 years working in both the private and public sectors. I like helping people and figuring out solutions. I agree with many here that its the people involved in the judicial system that make problem solving difficult if not impossible. I am thinking of going back to some government job or non-profit organization. Making a lot of money is not important to me, I just want to make a living and be content. I will continue to try to make a difference little by little and step by step. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5452025352696285200.post-60086632468278160462014-04-22T16:43:04.210-04:002014-04-22T16:43:04.210-04:00I'm an attorney in tech and practice on my own...I'm an attorney in tech and practice on my own these days. I have also practiced at big firms and in companies. I don't find other lawyers to be the problem, but I'm not a litigator. I actually find most of the other attorneys to be lovely, and it's a welcome change for me to deal with them. However, the deal (business) people, the constant unnecessary firedrills, the lack of training of deal people, the cleaning up of their messes, the emailing everyday at all hours with unreasonable requests -- that's what's killing me. And none of the business people seem to care. So, as one person said above, if I work on something, do a great job, find a creative solution, finish the project in a very quick manner -- no one cares. It's demoralizing. The lack of boundaries, manners and training on the part of the business people is also demoralizing. I realize that I actually don't mind the law or the work itself, but the people you have to deal with all the time are awful. I seem to be unable to balance my life b/c one minute I have no work and the next I have a complete (and unnecessary) firedrill with no warning. And it's only going to get worse because of technology and lack of training, organizational skills, or common sense in younger generations. I'm not sure that other professions are much happier. Everyone I know is stressed out and bored with his job. Only bankers seem to have a nice lifestyle. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5452025352696285200.post-307171064187286322014-03-11T14:59:47.659-04:002014-03-11T14:59:47.659-04:00Don't be mean, us lawyers have feelings too. :...Don't be mean, us lawyers have feelings too. :(Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5452025352696285200.post-88602099685359522902014-01-12T22:39:16.265-05:002014-01-12T22:39:16.265-05:00hahaha you lawyers are scum and deserve every seco...hahaha you lawyers are scum and deserve every second of your suffering !!!!!!!<br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5452025352696285200.post-36743516141135807802014-01-07T19:48:25.987-05:002014-01-07T19:48:25.987-05:00and what about secondary trauma when you do crimin...and what about secondary trauma when you do criminal defense, deportation defense, or civil rights? thanks so much for all of the posts. I feel less alone with my anxiety, doubts, and sufferingLa Güera Chulahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10658804958912846473noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5452025352696285200.post-32316307451920348082013-12-23T23:24:03.348-05:002013-12-23T23:24:03.348-05:00I found this blog for reasons not raised here. My...I found this blog for reasons not raised here. My "life in law" has different paths but I did obtain my JD, right during the dot com crash; I knew being in the Bay Area that the floor had fallen out below me. I had worked in litigation as staff during law school, part of the program... after "temping" for years, and 3 plus years not practicing, or sitting for the bar exam to practice, I was offered a full time perm job as legal assist for $70k and then.. then I said no. My physical medical conditions had not manifested as described but I had trained to be a workaholic, ready, "for combat"- in other words, detached from my true self fully, obsessive, great litigation adrenaline skills (no longer able to work without lunch break though) and related. I turned to a 12 step program for workaholics.. and indeed many of the participants are from the field of law, including Judges, clerks, lawyers, partners, and related -- identities anonymous for obvious reasons. I turned back to who I truly was going back to my teens.. I am now an artist, spiritual, have a partner (who was in Nam as a pilot). We survived the great recession, (he went to lawschool two years before being drafted) and our legal training has allowed us to protect us in tenant rights unlike the "class" of citizens unemployed in low income housing. I turned my life over to god as I understood it. My partner, has a thicker skin than me and today we are filing in Federal Court on a controversial issue: photo red light ticket issues with city, county and state having a financial interest in the high California ticket rates. This work is my last piece of work because I am a new me; feel my real self. Yes, I let go of all of it financially, turned it over and through gratitude I know I was protected. You all are NOT alone. This website serves humanitarian purposes not present in the practice of law. You are in combat like being in war; war is not just a metaphor. These are all symptoms of PTSD.. really... your mind will argue with you about when, how and even what "rule" to follow to balance your life back to your true self, heart and soul. I say do it even if it is a walk during lunch, first thing in the morning. I have many friends who left the law and found another occupation. I appreciate this blog and comments; it serves a higher purpose for so many. Tonight working on this last piece of legal work, I had this image of being in a cave or basement with one of those miners head light on, and feeling like a kid smirking.. I will see the light. My thoughts reading your comments sending that light back to ya'll... the light works.Undercover mining occupanthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10236682583468465928noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5452025352696285200.post-56373268794578978182013-12-10T15:05:26.319-05:002013-12-10T15:05:26.319-05:00Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I have had irrita...Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I have had irritable bowel syndrome for ages and I tried medicine. I really thought it was because of what I ate. I spent a lot of money on medical bills. I always suspected my job as a lawyer is affecting my health.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5452025352696285200.post-72275981444122658512013-10-29T05:40:04.321-04:002013-10-29T05:40:04.321-04:00Hi honey, I feel ya! Wow one yr in as a solicitor,...Hi honey, I feel ya! Wow one yr in as a solicitor, and I know I cannot do this for the rest of my life. Everyday I experience a horrid tightness in my chest. It makes me wonder if I have heart problems. The happiest I felt was getting anaesthesia to pull my wisdom teeth out. All I could think of was as I was going under was "Ahhh so this is what it feels like to not be physically & emotionally crippled by stress, depression & anxiety". I'm quitting next yr to start at Midwifery school. I'd take the lower pay any day for a slice of happiness. I'm tired of torturing myself, and I just feel it in my bones this is the answer. I simply cannot stand being imprisoned to this chair poring through suffocatingly boring documents. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5452025352696285200.post-48062788501018189032013-09-04T16:11:26.346-04:002013-09-04T16:11:26.346-04:00Good grief... what a sad and discouraging set of p...Good grief... what a sad and discouraging set of posts/comments! Reading over everything posted above definitely gives me a new perspective on wanting to go to law school. After reading the entire page, I realized that what I'm most interested in is the intellectual challenge of law school, and from the first hand experiences given above it sounds like that doesn't exist in the "practice of law" (the real world).<br /><br />For everyone who is miserable, or lost, or having a hard time with their practice, I hope that it gets better for you. No one deserves to be that stressed out and sick.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09828879840405003526noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5452025352696285200.post-68014643374140510862013-07-14T04:33:24.480-04:002013-07-14T04:33:24.480-04:00HELLO TO THE GENERAL PUBLIC.
THE GREAT P... HELLO TO THE GENERAL PUBLIC.<br /> THE GREAT POWERFUL PROPHET THAT HELP<br /> ME SOLVED MY PROBLEM IN THE SUPREME COURT.<br /> I want to say thank you Prophet Ahmed i have won the case.<br /> I'm Mr Tom from United State i was having problem in the court i was thinking what to do,really it was a terrible problem in the court when some one came from no were wanted to clam my company, he forged the company paper and said the company belong to his late dad, then i was so confused i didn't know what to do, on Sunday night i saw a Testimony on internet how this prophet help one woman before i contact the prophet and explain every thing to him, he told me not to worry since i have contact him my problem is solved,he gave come form to fill which i do, he start the work before 3 days he told me he has finished the work,he said i should not worry next time we are going to Court i will see what will happen that i will see the result of his work really on the court day i went to court the Judge declare to every body court that i'm the owner of the company that is how i won the case, i'm so happy now any body that see this comment should help me thank Prophet Ahmed,before i forget in case any body have any problems free free and contact him because his capable of handle any problems,he can also release person in jail, his email solutiontemple399@gmail.com or cell number +2347053375151.<br />prophet thank you so much i promise to share this Testimony to every body in the world wide. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15264247852805106539noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5452025352696285200.post-25431502159168158482013-05-31T19:03:45.149-04:002013-05-31T19:03:45.149-04:00So happy that you ran across this blog. I have my ...So happy that you ran across this blog. I have my own practice so I don't have to tell you how busy it is.... so busy and hard to maintain anything outside of work. Good luck to you in winding down your practice.... or recovering it. Try to have a nice evening!Angelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07820446523257638689noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5452025352696285200.post-78503525613104576492013-05-31T18:59:59.575-04:002013-05-31T18:59:59.575-04:00As I read this is is Friday at 6:30 pm and I am si...As I read this is is Friday at 6:30 pm and I am sitting in my car with dried tears in my face. I am avoiding a friend's business grand opening and happy hour because I don't want to be seen like this, or spoil everyone's good time. I would say I'm definitely depressed, but I don't have health insurance so I cant go to the doctor. I have 93 dollars in my personal account and my car payment is past due. I have my own law firm and have been doing the same sh#t for six years. The guy who advocated getting drunk as stress relief made sense. I feel all of your pain here and I wonder why we keep doing this to ourselves. <br /><br />Your stories made me feel better in that at least I'm not alone. Every month I think, "I should give my notice and close the office." But I feel like I need to see things through and finish all my cases. The majority of which I have not been charging enough, not nearly, hence the broke-ness. I wish someone had a guide on how to get out. Like actual steps or checklist on closing up the practice (I know the Bar has this but also practical things like what the hell am I supposed to do next and what will I eat whilst unemployed.).<br /><br />I thought about bartending like I did in college. At times it sucked and so did other jobs I've had, but being a lawyer has been the most stressful by far.<br /><br /> No point in listing all the physical conditions as I've had the majority of the same, plus unexplained hives all over my body. What is scaring me now is the level of sadness. I never had this before in my life. Like there is no end in sight, ever.<br /><br />I know my problems are "first world problems" and it makes me feel even worse and ungrateful for my unpaid-for education, etc.<br /><br /> By the way I liked law school too. Practice of law has only brought me occasional glimmers of happiness.<br /><br />To those who are thinking about going to law school or in law school I highly recommended you do some time at a firm before you spend 150k plus for a career you may hate. It will be worth it.<br /><br />Thanks for letting me vent. I'm going to wipe the tears away and go have that martini now. Maybe I'll see if their hiring. Good luck to you all. Ps I found a nice site today called Tiny Buddha. Another thing that helps me is making a list of three things that must get done everyday, not more than that, and make sure one thing is easy.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5452025352696285200.post-87113759176671737772013-05-01T15:44:40.820-04:002013-05-01T15:44:40.820-04:00Angel,
What advice would you give for students stu...Angel,<br />What advice would you give for students studying law? I am in my freshman year of college, and I would lie to be a Prosecutor. I eventually want to own a restaurant, too. Almost everyone says that it's very ambitious of me, and one person even said, "Good luck getting sleep!"Alexis W.noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5452025352696285200.post-38133411879301283752013-03-17T22:42:07.264-04:002013-03-17T22:42:07.264-04:00I love this. I am an attorney too. I agree with ev...I love this. I am an attorney too. I agree with everyone here. It feels like we are all working at the same law firm going through the same struggles emotionally, physically, financially, and psychologically. I feel for every one of you. <br /><br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5452025352696285200.post-72539179070743603022013-02-20T13:37:40.841-05:002013-02-20T13:37:40.841-05:00The life of an attorney is really stressful as the...The life of an attorney is really stressful as they often face unique challenges in their daily work life. It will cause significant stress that can lead to tension and depression. The reason why lawyers are experiencing stress is because of over workload, lack of vacation, and interpersonal difficulties.<br /><br />Kathleen Salazarhttp://homelawyer.ca/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5452025352696285200.post-56590047273255119302012-11-11T22:18:29.695-05:002012-11-11T22:18:29.695-05:00Nice blog. I had fun reading this. And it is easy ...Nice blog. I had fun reading this. And it is easy to understand. Nice going. <a href="http://www.powerslawgroup.com/" rel="nofollow">Attorney Macon</a><br /><br />James32http://www.powerslawgroup.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5452025352696285200.post-92136161007447922332012-10-14T08:10:53.102-04:002012-10-14T08:10:53.102-04:00I posted here about a year and a half ago. I'm...I posted here about a year and a half ago. I'm here again because when I get panic-attack stressed about practicing law, I do a google search for stress and lawyers so I can calm down and not feel so crazy. I was having one 30 minutes ago and it's Sunday morning at 5:30 a.m.<br /><br />There are usually two primary requirements for getting into law school: (1) good LSAT score, and (2) good undergraduate grades. Neither of these requires that you had a safe, emotionally secure childhood. So you graduate, get your law degree, and go into a world of conflict, deadlines and high-dollar problems, indefinitely. There is a reasonably good chance that your upbringing didn't give you the tools to handle that crap on a daily basis in a healthy way. Money can't fix that on its own - it can only soothe a fraction of your life. There's a wall you hit every day, and you're so freaking busy and in the middle of it that you can't step back and see it for what it is. <br /><br />Personally, I was a bundle of nerves every Sunday night about going to grade school Monday morning - elementary school, middle school, high school. Now I'm the same bundle of nerves every Sunday night about going to my SOLO practice on Monday morning. There's a pattern here that I should recognize once I remove my head from my derriere. It's me, not law. Maybe you can relate. Lots of days are OK, but they are always stressful and some, overwhelmingly, many of which are days that begin with "S" (!).<br /><br />With that said, being objective: there's nothing inherently wrong with practicing law - you didn't create these problems, and you're just there to use whatever tools you have to resolve them, if they can be resolved. They aren't YOUR facts, just like the doctor operating on a chirrotic liver didn't create the bad liver - years of someone else's bad decisions did. Oh, and by the way, NO ONE is perfect, so it's natural for you to be imperfect sometimes - heck, even miss one of the 40 deadlines you had this month. You can and should take responsibility for it since that's what adults do - but when you beat yourself up for it, you may be playing out a crappy unbringing or an unhealthy craving for acceptance, but objectively, it's unfair to yourself and unnatural. <br /><br />However, there is something wrong with practicing law if your inside is not adjusted to handle it. That's why I highly recommend that you take some of that good money - for those of you making it - and invest it on your personal or spiritual well being. See a therapist or a psychiatrist - you can't afford not to. Go to a 12 Step program if one applies to you. Get neck-deep in your spiritual faith if you are so inclined. If practicing law feels like more than 50% of your life, IMHO, then YOU are in the wrong and you've got your priorities and perspective all messed up. If, after a lot of self-exploration you just can't reconcile who you are with the daily grind of law, then there's your decision right there. <br /><br />There's a lot of good money available in practicing law that you can do a lot of good with for your family and for others, so it's not worth throwing away a law career without making sure you won't have the same problems in any profession. But take the initiative and quit thinking life HAS to be this way. Because it really doesn't. IMHO, the biggest failure in the vast majority of people's lives is - the failure to recognize one's options. <br /><br />Ahhhh, I feel better now, head's back on straight. Thanks. And I see a lot of pain in these comments that I can relate to - and some that seems so much deeper than my own on the worst days. And so I wish you guys the best with your journey on this. K. O'Brienhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10660586437247123329noreply@blogger.com