tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5452025352696285200.post2919099421568981960..comments2024-02-23T04:59:26.907-05:00Comments on But I Did Everything Right!: Debt Destroys Relationships: AS IF You Didn't Know.Angelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07820446523257638689noreply@blogger.comBlogger19125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5452025352696285200.post-52779527072770087042010-09-17T02:49:06.619-04:002010-09-17T02:49:06.619-04:00@Film Co. Lawyer
Are you married? If not, then pe...@Film Co. Lawyer<br /><br />Are you married? If not, then perhaps it hasn't come up as an issue for you yet because the guys you're seeing are in "rent" and not "buy" mode. You didn't say so I'm not sure, but that is often the case in these situations. My comments are stricly geared toward the "buy" situations.<br /><br />Co-signing for you? Marrying you means co-signing for everything you have ever done and ever will do. It goes way beyond that.<br /><br />I do agree that the larger the delta in looks between what the guy is able to pull from the no-debt crowd and yourself will make a difference in terms of whether or not he's willing to take on the debt. Exactly how much debt you're in will also be a factor.<br /><br />I don't run credit report on dates. Was specifically referring to a "let's consider marriage" situation.<br /><br />Also, ladies, there is no such thing as "phenomenal sex" when it comes to guys. The chick we are banging is either hot or not. Her performance isn't really an issue at all. Trust me, we'll find a way to make it work.<br /><br />Since we're talking respect, wouldn't you respect someone who takes a mature and level-headed approach to selecting a life partner? Isn't that better than someone who is so desperate that they will take on 200K of frivolous school loans just to get some tail?Top10MBAnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5452025352696285200.post-12019365866639533192010-09-17T01:40:28.809-04:002010-09-17T01:40:28.809-04:00I think it's probably harder if you're a g...I think it's probably harder if you're a guy or just average looking. Never came up as an issue for me but my stance was "If you ignore me because I choose not to be a stripper/rob banks/sell drugs/break the law to avoid being barefoot & pregnant, then why should I trust you with anything?" If you didn't like me when I was poor, I'd want nothing to do w/you once I became a success since no one needs more fake people around them.<br /><br />Unless you're co-signing for someone, why should you care about their debt? It's not YOUR problem so unless you're being hassled about it by the person, it's not your business.<br /><br />Top10MBA, running a credit report on dates? Why not just have a matchmaker select a mate for you or get an arranged marriage? Asking me about debt makes me immediately think "gold-digging ho" or "seeking a sugar mommy". No thanks. Earn your own way in life.<br /><br />I've also found that many a person will overlook things if the sex is phenomenal or the person is mega hot. How do you think starving artists & actors get laid??? I'm referring to aspiring ones, not current famous people.<br /><br />The only people shunning others on that front are people who've never really lived through hard times & wouldn't last 3 seconds in a real crisis. Not only are they whores, they are wimps I have zero respect for.Film Co. Lawyerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11995928421833366660noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5452025352696285200.post-1347649888197065372010-09-16T02:38:38.851-04:002010-09-16T02:38:38.851-04:00I've read a couple of you ladies say you have ...I've read a couple of you ladies say you have firm backsides and spectacular tits while implying that guys will put up with debt over that. I know it's all in good fun, but just wanted to point out how much more economical it would be for your man to hit the local strip club than to invest 6 figures in a part of your anatomy that will obviously depreciate. Clearly, their love for you goes far beyond your assets. :)Top10MBAnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5452025352696285200.post-20038660428254030492010-09-15T23:01:35.855-04:002010-09-15T23:01:35.855-04:00I was dating my now husband during law school and ...I was dating my now husband during law school and he knew how much debt I would be in. Of course, I came out making over 100K and was making $135K when we got married. So he hit the jackpot. I quit and relocated when we got married and now I make $86K and our student loan payments almost equal our mortgage. Luckily, he really loves me so money/debt isn't an issue (read: I've got a firm backside to help him cope).<br /><br />Sallie Mae's Bitch<br />http://almostdebtfree1.blogspot.comSallie Mae's Bitchhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06793605433882593904noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5452025352696285200.post-35898060252046778652010-09-15T23:00:22.108-04:002010-09-15T23:00:22.108-04:00This comment has been removed by the author.Sallie Mae's Bitchhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06793605433882593904noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5452025352696285200.post-76845982210970013232010-09-15T10:39:23.567-04:002010-09-15T10:39:23.567-04:00Two lawyer households are so completely screwed it...Two lawyer households are so completely screwed it's not even funny. I know one such couple personally and they are drowning in 400K of debt and are both UNEMPLOYED!<br /><br />I also agree 100% that guys don't care how much a girl makes but do care a great deal about whether or not they are in debt. I have been known to ask permission to run a credit report or two in my day when I first meet someone.Top10MBAnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5452025352696285200.post-200077505892501352010-09-15T08:23:37.384-04:002010-09-15T08:23:37.384-04:00The problem isn't the debt. It is lying about ...The problem isn't the debt. It is lying about the debt. Either say it is none of your business or share the real numbers. If you have been in denial about the real numbers, I gently suggest you need to stop and consider if you are ready to be starting a relationship with someone else when you cannot even handle the realities of your own life. I know that sounds harsh but starting a relationship that way makes it all about you. Not the best foundation for success. Best wishes but the truth will come out sooner or later anyway. Far better to be honest from day one. Either say it is not your business if you are not ready to share or tell the truth.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5452025352696285200.post-6288774415999221072010-09-13T17:37:58.972-04:002010-09-13T17:37:58.972-04:00I must say that my wife was somewhat amazed that I...I must say that my wife was somewhat amazed that I ran up $120K in law school loans about ten years ago.<br /><br />She had absolutely no idea how much debt I had when we got married.<br /><br />Since she hated debt, I got rid of my debt in about 4 years. I think we lived on about $20K a year and sent the rest to the loan companies. <br /><br />Of course, 10 years ago, it was much much easier to find (and keep) a job as an attorney.JPhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11126071014909954387noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5452025352696285200.post-47732983886029907452010-09-11T13:58:13.221-04:002010-09-11T13:58:13.221-04:00I think that men and women both care a lot about t...I think that men and women both care a lot about the earning power of their significant other. However, I find that men care less about the finances of women they see as a short term fling while women still do. Thinking long term, I think both sexes care a great deal. For both sexes, earning power is very tied to status.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5452025352696285200.post-4647020535072429222010-09-11T10:04:54.728-04:002010-09-11T10:04:54.728-04:00I think that men care very little about whether or...I think that men care very little about whether or not a girl MAKES money, but enormous amounts of debt are something that he might have to pay if things progress. That was my em-effers ex's point.Angelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07820446523257638689noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5452025352696285200.post-12681409047381477912010-09-11T05:05:45.552-04:002010-09-11T05:05:45.552-04:00Isn't money usually a bigger problem for men t...Isn't money usually a bigger problem for men though? Men generally care very little about an attractive woman's income and even personality. But outside of cougars, which there aren't enough of around incidentally, the majority of women do care about a man's bank account. At least at the beginning of a relationship, generally men are expected to pick up the tab and go to reasonably expensive places.<br /><br />I'm not saying the bloggers are like that, in fact I'd wager the very opposite, but those are not the usual circumstances. I guess this isn't PC so I'll stop right there, I'm not here to argue or change anybody's mind, just relating my own personal experiences and observations.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5452025352696285200.post-58070051986612039112010-09-10T19:50:54.569-04:002010-09-10T19:50:54.569-04:005:25 p.m., kinda like us, right?5:25 p.m., kinda like us, right?Angelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07820446523257638689noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5452025352696285200.post-26252870572158742922010-09-10T18:25:37.324-04:002010-09-10T18:25:37.324-04:00I don't know how I feel about this. On the on...I don't know how I feel about this. On the one hand, I've been the person with the big student loan debt, and my takeaway from that NYT article was ... so, working class grads are unmarriageable? FABULOUS. /sarcasm off.<br /><br />On the other hand -- I am married to a dude who "forgot" to tell me about his prior bankruptcy and "forgot" to tell me about a 25K IRS debt that I found out about when the liens started rolling in six months after the wedding. (No student loans, though -- Mommy and Daddy paid for his schooling. Now I get to be his mommy.) That was 5 1/2 years ago and I am still furious, because part of me doesn't even want to know what else he's not telling me. (Although I have my suspicions.) But being the person snooping around feels pretty fucking shitty too.Jadzhttp://toddlerism.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5452025352696285200.post-16620066584134017182010-09-10T17:25:34.400-04:002010-09-10T17:25:34.400-04:00You can't blame them for bolting.
It's no...You can't blame them for bolting.<br /><br />It's not even the debt, necessarily.... I'd have to question a girl's basic judgment if she spent so much on a major that won't pay off eventually.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5452025352696285200.post-59907714867758625222010-09-10T16:02:27.615-04:002010-09-10T16:02:27.615-04:00Lobby for marijuana legalization in your state, an...Lobby for marijuana legalization in your state, and when it's legal, grow it and sell it.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5452025352696285200.post-45460966372042668502010-09-10T14:35:24.035-04:002010-09-10T14:35:24.035-04:00If I may be your pro bono financial planner, JJD, ...If I may be your pro bono financial planner, JJD, I'd like to suggest you diversify into slot machines. Smaller yields, but they come more often. Plus, you can NETWORK with the Oxycontin-laced woman next to you!J-Doggednoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5452025352696285200.post-68057511090609283082010-09-10T14:11:19.793-04:002010-09-10T14:11:19.793-04:00Already told him, and he doesn't care. Since I...Already told him, and he doesn't care. Since I don't plan on marrying him, it's really none of his business anyway, as far as I'm concerned. I've already told him that my plan to pay it off consists of buying scratch cards and lotto tickets. He was impressed that I diversify my portfolio.JJDhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13336399876642935513noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5452025352696285200.post-83006849601966696462010-09-10T13:54:18.311-04:002010-09-10T13:54:18.311-04:00Angel and HardKnocks, I am asking for a little lee...Angel and HardKnocks, I am asking for a little leeway on this comment. Thanks!<br /><br />JJD is smart enough to figure out when to drop this bomb on her man. But, if she is as feisty and intelligent in person, as she is on her blog - and if she has a nice ass - I imagine the guy will accept her and her debt. (Remember, he did not co-sign any of her loans - so they cannot come after him. It will just affect how much she can spend on dates.)<br /><br />JJD, you have my email. If this guy bolts after hearing about your debt, let me know - and I'll "persuade" him to think straight. <br /><br />On a serious note, money - or lack thereof - is a leading cause of divorce, hardship in relationships and marital stress. Taking on six figures of NON-DISCHARGEABLE debt will cause stress in a relationship. (The banksters are apparently okay with allowing idiots to rack up $60K in frivolous credit card debt - and writing it off. But, those who "invest" in themselves are dicked. That says volumes.)Nandohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06423524039657355134noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5452025352696285200.post-31158469368274327352010-09-10T13:48:57.274-04:002010-09-10T13:48:57.274-04:00Get yourself a sugerDaddy/Mama people. One that i...Get yourself a sugerDaddy/Mama people. One that is NOT an attorney! I went after a secretary at my old firm. You see, secretaries have STABLE jobs and if you're good, there will always be work. Two-lawyer households just have too many problems in my opinion, namely too much collective debt.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com